Breaking Even.


I feel like I haven’t blogged in forever. To be honest, I feel like my life is SO out of place. Like, everything is out of control…I have no time for anything! Even blogging! Truth is, I have hours and hours to skype friends, but when it comes to spending time with my family, God, or school, it’s seems as if it’s always my second or third priority, if not last. The worst part is, I know it hurts my parents when I’m always with my friends, and I never really spend time with them. :/

I think first thing is first: My priorites.

Right now, my priorities are this:

1) Friends

2) God

3) School

4) Family

AHHH. That’s WAY messed up. First of all, God should be first! The list (in my opinion) should look like this:

1) God

2) Family

3) School

4) Friends

Now that I’ve straightened that out, I need to do something about it. I realized, no matter how much I deny it with my parents, I have too much freedom. My parents have constantly asked me to stop skyping while doing homework. What do I say? No. Why? Because I’m not disciplined. I need to discipline myself by first, listening to my parents, and doing homework without the distraction of skype. The reason I’m usually on skype is for what my friends and I call, “company.” But the question is, why don’t I enjoy my parent’s company instead? Like, why am I putting my friends before family? I tend to take them all for granted. And I don’t like that. I think if I discipline myself, everything will just fall into place. God would let it.

God has given me the gift of math. It’s usually my easier subject, and I enjoy it. (hahaha, yes, i’m a little nerd but…) Even if I fall asleep in class, as long as I took notes, I’d easily ace the test without studying. However, last week we took a quiz. All of last week I was skyping. I barely finished my homework. I got no sleep, what so ever. And guess what? I didn’t do too good on my quiz… (I don’t think my parents still know about it…uh oh … haha) That’s when it hit me. My overall grade didn’t change, but that one grade showed me something God had been trying me for a while : My priorities need to change. It hit me at last! That’s when I realized that God really does want me to get off of skype and leave my room to do other things.

Here’s the thing though, I’m pretty sure my last blog was about skyping and distractions. My whole concept was clear to me, how skype is distracting me from other things…but did I do it? NO! ahhh, that’s the problem. I say I’m going to…but I never end up doing it. And that’s what I’m going to work on this week, actually doing what I say I’m going to do: Fix Priorites! Which means no more skyping until other priorities are finished. (Which means more time with God and my family! 🙂 )

One more thing I’d like to say in today’s post. So recently, I’ve been lazy. Yes, because of skype. But then again, I can’t blame it on skype because I am the person falling for it, so it all comes back to me… but anyways, that’s not what I was getting at. My laziness has accounted for the several reasons my room isn’t clean, the reason I only take showers when I need to, and the reason I only put myself together if I need to. Now, this all comes back to my hygiene…yes, that’s a different story, but there’s also something else it comes down to.

Personally, I don’t worry much about the future. I strongly do believe that God has a plan for me, so no matter what I go through, God has put me through for a reason and I’ll become a better person because of it. But, when I’m lazy, I’m not preparing myself for anything or anyone. I’m not showing God, nor am I showing a side of me I’d really want everyone to know.

Today’s sermon at Church was by Dev Uncle, who is such an inspiration to everyone. He talked about hope. And that’s something I realized I don’t have. Yes, I have hope for the future far ahead of me, but what about the near future? The cause of my laziness is also because I don’t see anything to look forward to the next day, school. I need hope for myself to enjoy the coming days ahead of me. Hope, is what creates happiness. Hope, is what makes us want to search for God.

“Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.” -Psalm 105:4



“For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.”



-Romans 8:24-25

I’m not sure if I’ve used any of those verses before, but I do know they correlate. We need hope for the day to get up in the morning. We need hope to be able to have the urge and passion to seek God and his beauty. We need hope!

And now, because of hope, I’m hoping (hahaha) to have to great week ahead of me, without skype. Unless of course, I’m done with homework. 😉
I need to remember to do everything for and through Christ because Christ lives in me. Everything I do needs to reflect God. I’m going to dress up like Christ wants me to, and praise him in a way that will glorify him. And guess what? Without skype, I’ll have more time to work on my music! I feel like I haven’t done that in forever too.

You know, I just got really excited. I love blogging because it lets my mind process and learn more than I ever thought I did. Hmmm.

I pray that this week, God shows me something new.



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