Wow… I haven’t blogged on my computer in awhile… the format’s changed! haha
Anyways, this post is mainly going to be about my feelings, not really about a solid point I’ve learned, so if you don’t like posts like this don’t bother reading.
I feel like I need to change. In my last post I explained how God showed me a lot of flaws about myself, and now my problem is how do I change it?
Today was our church Christmas program, and I saw different relationships with Christ people had. It made me wonder where mine went. I made me wonder why mine wasn’t as strong as it used to be. Why don’t I feel close anymore? I mean I know I can always talk to him…but why do I get caught up in other things and not save time for him?
Right now, I just pray that God guides me. I pray that I learn to fix my flaws, and gives me strength to go on. I pray that I build a stronger relationship with him. I pray that I’m not selfish and do everything for God’s glory. I just pray that I’m a better, stronger person for his kingdom.
I just opened up to this, but it’s perfect: “It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.” -Psalm 118:8
Okay this has been on my mind for awhile… Meaning it happened awhile ago, but it still taught me a lot that I have the urge to share it again.
Recently, I was really angry at God. And I’ve never actually been mad at him before, like I’ve never found a reason to, but it’s just like at that point of time I felt like God was continuously throwing all my flaws at me at once and didn’t even give me a chance to fix myself. I felt like he was overwhelming me…and I got really irritated. I realized God had a plan for me, but it still bothered me… WHY would he do that to me? … Or let me rephrase that, why would he let that happen to me?
That’s when it hit me. I need to trust God. It’s one thing to trust that God has a plan for you, to realize that God is always by your side… But it’s another thing to trust God in the sense that HE KNOWS WHAT HE’S DOING. In any perspective. And I’m referring to questioning God. I kept questioning God about why I constantly felt broken down, but all I needed to do was trust God.
In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do unto me. (Psalm 56:11 KJV)
Three weeks later, I feel so much better. I’m a lot stronger because I’ve realized this. And I definitely have a lot of flaws to fix, but I’m still working on it… And I know God will guide me through.