Monthly Archives: February 2013

Handling Decisions

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So I’ve finally finished reading the book, and it was so inspiring. I think the biggest thing that hit me was my problem of not making decisions.

“Stop wavering, stop procrastinating, stop waiting for miracles. The greatest miracle is lying dormant inside you right now. Make a decision. Sweat over it. Toil over it. Weigh all your options. Get sage advice. Make lists. Trust your gut, trust your instincts. Search your soul. Pray to God. But don’t pray like a helpless slave waiting to be told what to do. Pray like a free person searching for strength and wisdom and insight. Choose a path. Stay with your path. Be ready to face obstacles blocking your way. Even if you take a wrong turn, at least it will be your turn. Your life, your mistake. You will have learned which road not to take in the future. And besides, you will be moving. Your spiritual coma will be lifting. Your legs won’t be asleep anymore”(137, Levy).

For those of you who know me, I always have this attitude of “time will tell”, let’s do nothing about it because time will do it!…and I’m just too scared to make a decision. I’ve come to realize, time doesn’t wait. The longer you procrastinate, the harder your battle is to overcome. Making your decision months later rather than now has a potential to harm you more. 

This passage really helped me understand that we were blessed with the freedom of ..freedom. We are blessed with the opportunity to make a choice. It is this choice that forms our future. Whether it was right or wrong, it’s how we learn our mistakes! And now I’m just pretty much restating what the passage said. Lol

The author also talks about the Biblical story of the Israelites, and how when God made every choice for them they became angry, and wanted to rebel. (And all these other side effects) And that is why God doesn’t always make the choices for us. So when we’re given the freedom make choices, make them. Now don’t mistaken me for “make spontaneous actions”, I’m saying don’t procrastinate your choices. I’m guilty of this I know. I know I know.

And when it comes to the fear of decision, just believe that God is with you. No matter what you pick, God is with you. 

Hahaha, I might actually start reading more.

Presence and Hope

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“In the realm of the spirit, past and future converge, time collapses, tomorrow’s successes and celebrations have already left their mark on our souls. When all we can see are our past scars, we walk around in the present feeling hesitant, frightened, damaged, and deficient. But if we could only see the healing blessings of our future. If we could only sense all the good that awaits us, we might be more willing to take risks. We might be more open to exploring new opportunities. We might have more faith and confidence. We might have more hope” (54, Levy).

I know I have heard so many people talking about “the latest book they just read.” Especially my dad, for example. He literally reads a book every night. My question is always… how the heck do you have time for that? 

Three weeks ago, I was at the library and I checked out a random book out called “Hope Will Find You”. The book was due last Thursday…and tonight I finally made time to begin reading it. The author is a rabbi in a synagogue, and is going through a rough journey with her daughter who is suffering a life threatening disease. I read 80 pages in a heartbeat because it was so inspiring.

My favorite passage is what I began this post with. I remember awhile ago I blogged about hope. How hope is what gives you something to look forward to. How hope is what gives you the courage to know you’re prepared. How hope is what gives you God.

This may sound weird, but this last week I really felt God’s presence. I can’t even explain what triggered it. I was talking to an Atheist, and he asked me how I could even believe without solid evidence. I thought about it, and it’s something you just know. You feel it. When you like someone, you know it. When you’re truly happy, you know it. When you believe something, you just know it. In a way, God’s presence gives you hope. Actually, not in a way. It really does. It really does. Understanding (even though in reality, we can’t even begin to fathom his presence) his presence, and power, and greatness, gives you hope. It makes you want to … I don’t know. I can’t really explain how I feel. 

It’s 2:43…and I’m seriously not tired. Maybe I should finish the book? 

God’s Promise

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This weekend, I was reminded of something we all tend to forget. 

God has a promise for you. He is always going to take care of you. You need to trust that promise. Because he doesn’t break his promises, and he’s going to take care of you.

Short and simple, but means so much.

“He remembers his covenant forever, the promise he made, for a thousand generations.” -Psalm 105:8

Stream of Consciousness

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So last semester English: We read a book called Mrs. Dalloway. Or, attempted…if you know what I mean 😉

Anyways, this book is significantly different than others because it’s a novel written in the stream of consciousness. This means her every which-what-way thought is written in the novel. Now imagine how crazy that is. Imagine it.

So I was tracking my own stream of consciousness at Hannah’s volleyball game. Not that anyone of my few readers (none) actually care, but I’ll share anyway because I thought it was interesting.

Volleyball game < listening to other people’s negative thoughts < my last tweet: positive thoughts lead to good things < how my stream of consciousness is random < I should blog about this.

This stemmed from watching a volleyball game. Now, it was more detailed when I was actually in this thought process, this is just what I remember. I just think it’s cool how crazy our minds process. Like, I get lost in my own thought process. And now to think God understands this thought process, AND everybody else’s crazy thought process is really neat. I just think sometimes we fail to remember how cool that is. 🙂

The Value of Happiness

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I spent this weekend in Omaha…which i started out calling the “land of cows”, for my sister’s volleyball tournament. Now, I wasn’t excited. Hahaha, once I got there though, of course I learned that the “land of cows” wasn’t entirely true. I stayed in downtown Omaha, which was actually a cute place. Cute stores walking distance and everything was close by! 

I went to most of my sister’s games. I went to all of them but one! And it was so exciting to watch! My sister is a type of person who struggles within herself. I don’t know if this makes sense, but when’s she’s happy with herself, she is happy. She is very happy. And to see this true happiness is the best thing. Every time she even came close to winning a game…she had this “thulunnu” dance, which in English is like her squirming dance. When she did this cray dance, she also had this huuuuge smile on her face. And it was this happiness in her that made me want to watch her games.  

I guess what God showed me this week is that it’s worth it. It’s worth driving the 500 miles to watch my sister smile and be happy. 

“I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.” -Ecclesiates 3:12

 As much as I didn’t want to go, it turns out, this vacation was actually not bad at all. I mean…I regret not bringing more than one pair of pants and shoes….but other than that, it was fun 🙂 It was a lot of fun. 

 

That Thought

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Hello!!!! I’m in fifth period being absolutely useless because I have so much homework, but I’m not being productive. And this is like my biggest pet peeve. Especially because I won’t get home til 9:30 today :O

Anyways, there was something I wanted to talk about. You know what the saddest thing is? When that person who is the happiest person and always makes your day, is sad. It literally kills because seeing that one person falling apart, just makes you cry. I don’t know if you’re like this, but seeing someone cries makes me cry.

Just a random thought. And now I should probably start homework again…but now to peer counseling. 

Failure

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The worst feeling is a feeling of failure. The feeling that no matter how hard you work, you’re stuck where you are, or that there are always people better than you. 

Today was FBLA Districts, and for the first time I participated in a Public Speaking Event. My friend, who got first in the impromptu (which for those of you who don’t know, is where you have a half hour to write a speech they give you on the spot), was also in this event for the first time. I did this event because I don’t think I’m thaaat bad of a public speaker. And I’m not, I’m in Debate, so it’s something I’ve grown to like. Today, there were 19 individuals who competed. I’ve been preparing for about a week, and my friend wrote his speech last night. Out of those 19 competitors, I was called back in the top 6 for finals round :). Then, when awards were called up…I got 5th. Not gonna lie…I was disappointed, but at the same time I was happy for my friend…He got first. *shockeeer* ? It was just disappointing because I felt like a failure. I didn’t understand how my friend could write his speech the night before and do so well?!

Truth is, my friend is naturally good at speaking. And he deserves the first place. People are going to be naturally better than you at things, and it’s okay. We all have our own fortes. I’m better at math than a lot of people, and it’s okay. My friend is much better at English than me…and it’s okay. IT’S OKAY! No one is perfect! No one is a failure! There’s always room to improve, and it’s okay. 

Now I know what I can work on. And it’s only because God has given me this place to improve. 🙂 Even though I’m still kind of disappointed about the 5th place…it’s okay. Life is still good.