My biggest problem lately is frustration. Frustration with everyone and everything. Getting frustrated with even people I love, and getting frustrated for the most ridiculous things. I rest my case, I guess I’ve always been someone who i sensitive about SPECIFIC, not even small things.
One of my biggest pet peaves is not cleaning up water on a counter top. Why? Because what are you supposed to do with the counter top then? Just watch it? YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING WITH THE COUNTER TOP ANYMORE! So ya. In Spanish one day, I was telling my teacher one day, and she took a water bottle and put water on the desk. THE HECK.
But now I’m just sidetracking. Hahah, I’m getting frustrated with everyone. For the silliest things, like not giving me straight forward answers, and being obnoxious, not listening, being selfish…I really could carry on because at this point I’m on the edge of CRAY.
Hahaha, and then after all this frustration I resort to isolation. Isolation not because I’m sad, but because I feel much happier alone. Where I can piss myself off and then be happy with myself. Where I can control my own actions, and no one affects me. And it’s simply my way of not caring for the stupid things that do bother me. I guess especially because these last two weeks and coming week is hell with school and all my outside activities, I just don’t want to get myself thrown off with unnecessary frustration.
But it was yesterday that I realized, if I’m frustrated, I need to say so. Things aren’t going to get better if I don’t express why I’m irritated. Things aren’t going to change, and I’m just going to be in my own isolated world til I feel ready to come back to the real world…and everyone will be gone. I really love spending time alone. Alone time is good, but there needs to be a balance. I have friends and family who care, so what’s the point of distancing?
I actually read this on my friend’s twitter: “A friend loves at all times” – Proverbs 17:17
It’s so true. They’re always going to be here for me, and I always need to be here for them.