Realization

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Believe it or not, the consequence of isolation has already hit me. It’s never been so evident.

It was this weekend, where I hit a reality check. How distant I truly am from everyone. And to think that telling myself that isolation was key, to stop caring about how close others were, surprises me.

To my Bridgit, it was this weekend where I realized how much I truly love her. And how much I’m going to miss her when she goes off to college. How much she knows how to make me laugh and keep me happy. How much I need her in my life. And with her, it’s not as much isolation as much as making time. Making time to spend time with her and calling her. Listening to her stories and taking the time to know about her life. Because today, when I watched the superbowl it was her I wanted to watch it with, my best friend that I loved.

To Tina, I realized how much she actually means to me. It was after church when we got in trouble for talking so loud instead of going to the service…that I realized I love talking to her. And that we could talk forever. And I miss that. I miss actually being a good friend. Not being isolated, but coming closer.

My guy best friend, who I didn’t really isolate myself from, helped me realize that there is still so much more to learn about each other. There is still so much that I don’t know. And it sucks because we barely hang out…and it’s sad. But, friendship grows over time. It’s over time that you get closer, and know each other better. And it’s over time that I realized how much value he actually has in my life. And how much I really do care for him.

To Sabrina, I always appreciate how she’s always there for me. How willing she is to do anything on the spot. I appreciate our friendship. I value how close we are. How we are always on the same page and how well she knows me. She’s amazing. And I love her so much.

To my family, I realized how thankful I am for putting up with me. My mom feeding me food like a baby when she sees I’m stressed and making me lunch every morning. My dad for helping me write an internship application due that night…even though he had told me soo many times to not procrastinate. To my sister, who I just love. Who I pray I can become a good role model for.

And to God, who no matter how isolated I try to make myself, is always there. No matter how much I don’t want to pray, he’s still there to let me talk and let me cry. Let me learn these lessons in an adequate way. To show me his path. He’s always there ready to pick me up, and bring me closer to him. He’s just waiting on me.

It’s over time you realize how much you value these individuals in your life, and I’m just so thankful. I am so so thankful for these people I love. I’m thankful God has placed them in my life. And no matter how distant I am, it’s never too late to build a closer relationship. It’s never too late.

“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to run, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” Proverbs 18:24

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