Today is September 18, 2016. It’s a good day & I’m spending it alone in Innisfree – a fair trade and local coffee shop, which makes me love it even more.
Last night, I babysat for a new family, & the kids were adorable. Today, Kiersten told me that the family loved me and it was really good to hear. It also reminded me of how last semester when I “interviewed” for another family’s one day a week sitter, I left the “interview” thinking to myself “well, didn’t get that one lol”, (and i didn’t get it). But I also think back to last semester and realize, I would not have survived with the extra weekly commitment.
Freshman year, I remember walking out of my RA interview knowing I messed the interview up, but I think back and realize I wouldn’t have met Lindsey, my random roommate, who has become another sister to me and helped me grow SO much.
I kept thinking back to even more “failures”. The reason I have this in quotations is because I realized that these failures weren’t really failures; they were life events leading me towards a different path that was more fit for me, my purpose, and who I’m supposed to become. Failures are God’s way of leading you in the right direction. Praise, today is such a good day.
today was a good day. on friday, andrew, an older brothah from another mothah, came back to colorado and took the time to spend half a day with me to just talk about life. it’s so simple, but it honestly made my day to think that someone actually cares enough to go out of their way to have a really boring conversation about…life?
people like andrew remind yourself why you give time and reach out to other people. at the same time, it made me realize that a) there are actually a lot of people around us who are investing in each of us that we take for granted and b) our heavenly father is also reaching out to get to know us better. he’s also right there wanting to listen and hear everything. oh haiiiiii,
My core group right now is studying the book of John, which is perfect timing with Easter and Good Friday just around the corner. We just finished John 13, where Judas was predicted to betray Jesus. Now if you think about it, it wasn’t just anyone who betray Jesus. Judas was one of the twelve. The disciples were chosen to help spread the Lord’s ministry and essentially taught under God himself. Judas in other words, was a close friend of Jesus. Jesus was betrayed by a good friend of his.
That’s like Don (my sister) betraying me. Or one of my best friends betraying me. To me personally, trust and loyalty are the most important things in a friendship. Being betrayed like that would break down those pillars, I can’t imagine the emotional state I would be in. And Jesus’ relationships are SO much more deeper than my relationships with my closest friends.
We always talk about the physical turmoil that Jesus went through during the crucifixion, but we always forget the emotional damage Jesus went through. Jesus was not only torn apart by this friendship, he was also pushed away from the DEEPEST relationship he had – from his Father. I honestly cannot fathom my mental stability, I would not be okay. And that’s how much God loves us. John 3:16
So lately I’ve been trying to focus on myself. (#Conceded) Trying to focus on myself in terms of how I can be a better person. The screensaver on my phone right now says “What is done in love is done well.” One aspect of this is loving other people and understanding them.
If you think about the essence of a person, it’s their soul. A soul. I personally believe that all humans have good in them, whether its abundant or barely noticeable. It’s there because we are human: we are vulnerable and we aren’t made to survive alone. And a consequence of this is goodness, or a more accurate word is love. At First Prez last week actually, they talked about how humans were created for good, but damaged by evil and sin. But here’s the cool part… when we say that Jesus saved us from evil, Jesus ALSO saved us for good. (WHAT.) That being said, within every soul there is goodness.
I think when we make it a point to understand the depth of a person, we see a glimpse of what God sees in us, as broken and terrible sinners, you know?? it’s really all so beautiful
So i learned this at core group the other day and thought it was so cool:
psychologists say that we as humans mostly want to be known and to be accepted, which makes sense. if you talk about celebrities who have all the money, they’re never happy because money isn’t satisfying. satisfaction always relates to people you surround yourself with and how deep your relationships are. (this also means there’s no point in keeping your money so you can give it to me)
anyways, the cool part is: humans are like that in nature because we are made in the image of God. God wants us to accept him, and us to know him, and more than anything God wants us to have a relationship with him. WHAAAAAT.
ok peace ~sal
Feeling really good. It’s been awhile since I could say that I enjoyed school…and now God has allowed me to finally reach that point again. He has allowed me to understand everything and love it! This doesn’t mean it’s easier, but it DOES mean it’s doable. School IS doable. In retrospect, I’m sure the rough time period definitely taught me humility and how to not attach my identity to school (LOL nerd, shallow moment of the day). Often, we attach our identities with worldly characteristics and talents, like being smart, or being musically talented, or being pretty. But these worldly characteristics can literally be gone over night. If God has the power to give them to you, he just as much has the power to take them away. That being said…what should our identity be attached to??
So last weekend, I went to a women’s retreat organized by the First Presbyterian church of Boulder and it was amazing. I experienced the most powerful prayer I have ever seen. These women, (and i know this sounds cultish but it WAS REAL) were praying in tongues and truly saw visions. It a connection to the supernatural aka God the person who created all of this that I have never experienced and seen.
Unfortunately with all this good…comes the dark side also. And yes, if you’ve read my previous posts i am terrified of the supernatural. I’ve heard of so many stories where dark spirits try to harm individuals strong in their faith. And in my head when I think of growing a closer relationship with God…i think uh oh. you can’t control these spirits and they can do anything. *hides under pillow and crouches in corner* *blanket is too short to cover body so puts pillow on face* *okay sorry i’m done these are annoying* *lol*
BUT – Dev Uncle said it perfectly:
“As a person gets closer to God, the character of God becomes visible to that person. As he sees God’s character, he tends to trust him more, realizing that the devil has no power over him.”
I absolutely love the way he phrased this. It also made me realize, like we try to understand the character of people on a different level…God ALSO has character. interesting……..