today was a good day. on friday, andrew, an older brothah from another mothah, came back to colorado and took the time to spend half a day with me to just talk about life. it’s so simple, but it honestly made my day to think that someone actually cares enough to go out of their way to have a really boring conversation about…life?
people like andrew remind yourself why you give time and reach out to other people. at the same time, it made me realize that a) there are actually a lot of people around us who are investing in each of us that we take for granted and b) our heavenly father is also reaching out to get to know us better. he’s also right there wanting to listen and hear everything. oh haiiiiii,
My core group right now is studying the book of John, which is perfect timing with Easter and Good Friday just around the corner. We just finished John 13, where Judas was predicted to betray Jesus. Now if you think about it, it wasn’t just anyone who betray Jesus. Judas was one of the twelve. The disciples were chosen to help spread the Lord’s ministry and essentially taught under God himself. Judas in other words, was a close friend of Jesus. Jesus was betrayed by a good friend of his.
That’s like Don (my sister) betraying me. Or one of my best friends betraying me. To me personally, trust and loyalty are the most important things in a friendship. Being betrayed like that would break down those pillars, I can’t imagine the emotional state I would be in. And Jesus’ relationships are SO much more deeper than my relationships with my closest friends.
We always talk about the physical turmoil that Jesus went through during the crucifixion, but we always forget the emotional damage Jesus went through. Jesus was not only torn apart by this friendship, he was also pushed away from the DEEPEST relationship he had – from his Father. I honestly cannot fathom my mental stability, I would not be okay. And that’s how much God loves us. John 3:16
So lately I’ve been trying to focus on myself. (#Conceded) Trying to focus on myself in terms of how I can be a better person. The screensaver on my phone right now says “What is done in love is done well.” One aspect of this is loving other people and understanding them.
If you think about the essence of a person, it’s their soul. A soul. I personally believe that all humans have good in them, whether its abundant or barely noticeable. It’s there because we are human: we are vulnerable and we aren’t made to survive alone. And a consequence of this is goodness, or a more accurate word is love. At First Prez last week actually, they talked about how humans were created for good, but damaged by evil and sin. But here’s the cool part… when we say that Jesus saved us from evil, Jesus ALSO saved us for good. (WHAT.) That being said, within every soul there is goodness.
I think when we make it a point to understand the depth of a person, we see a glimpse of what God sees in us, as broken and terrible sinners, you know?? it’s really all so beautiful
i think the other day for the first time i took the time to actually think about what the lord’s prayer means.
hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come
-holy is your name, we are in the devil’s kingdom right now, may god’s kingdom come
may thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven
-god’s will is already done in heaven, it is up to us to complete his will here and we need to seek god to do that
give us this day our daily bread
-god provides us with the “daily bread”, our fulfillment of the day. i notice a direct correlation between how satisfied i feel with how much time i spend with god
forgive us of our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us
-forgiveness comes from the father to give and receive. please father help us mold us hearts and break them for what breaks yours
lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil
-the lord is my shield and will protect us
for thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory forever and ever
-god rules and will rule forever til the end of time
you know, people come into your life and love you; people come into your life and hurt you. but at the end of the day, you grow and learn so much from it. there are obstacles in our way but (i also read this in the alchemist), no matter what you end up going towards the same destination, your ultimate purpose.
point being, in EVERYTHING, i personally believe there is something you can learn. That’s why I think your worst nightmare can’t really be your worst nightmare. at the end of the day…only you can hinder yourself from not learning something or from telling yourself you’re always right. (you’re NOT always right) I feel like our deepest secrets and thoughts are what we have to overcome. Our egos and pride. Our fears. Without this, we can’t become better people.
You are your own worst enemy.
I was lucky enough to stop by my piano teacher’s house to catch up. SHE is the most amazing woman I have ever met. She has survived through everything – cancer, miscarriage, stillborn, even the suicide of her husband years ago. Yet, she is THE happiest woman I know…and she’s 75 years old. BUT my favorite part of her story is how her husband is STILL her soulmate, and how she knows that when she goes to heaven she’s going to be reunited with him. She knows that Jim was her one and only, and she wants no one else. This is true love. This is what I want. It’s truly a blessing to have had her in my life.
She was telling me how Jim and her had a thing for pennies. He would leave pennies on the counter top for her. The saying goes, “every time you find a penny, an angel dropped by.” (Something like that, did I butcher it? lol) Anyways, just recently she asked God to show her Jim was okay, and she went into the bathroom…and found a penny there. *wipes a tear from eye*
I’m in love with a 75 woman and her husband.
Anyways, after that…J and I were talking about the supernatural, and that ish scare me. If it’s one thing that scares me it’s THIS BECAUSE YOU CAN’T CONTROL IT!! I couldn’t go to sleep because of it. Then, the next day I came into my room, and I found a penny in my room
“I am a sinner,
if it’s not one thing, it’s another
Caught up in words, tangled in lies
But you are a savior,
And you take brokenness aside,
and you make it beautiful”
God knows that you are a sinner. That’s the scary part, how he knows your darkest thoughts and your deepest secrets no matter how hard you try to disguise them. Despite all of this though, he NEVER holds your sins against you. You are ALWAYS his little girl or his little boy. I think of how much my dad goes out of his way to help me find an apartment EVEN THOUGH I am an adult now and I want to be independent, because he wants to do everything for his little girl. That made me realize how much God loves me times infinity. He takes me brokenness aside and makes it beautiful.
Thank you God for accepting me as I am.