Today is September 18, 2016. It’s a good day & I’m spending it alone in Innisfree – a fair trade and local coffee shop, which makes me love it even more.

Last night, I babysat for a new family, & the kids were adorable. Today, Kiersten told me that the family loved me and it was really good to hear. It also reminded me of how last semester when I “interviewed” for another family’s one day a week sitter, I left the “interview” thinking to myself “well, didn’t get that one lol”, (and i didn’t get it). But I also think back to last semester and realize, I would not have survived with the extra weekly commitment.

Freshman year, I remember walking out of my RA interview knowing I messed the interview up, but I think back and realize I wouldn’t have met Lindsey, my random roommate, who has become another sister to me and helped me grow SO much.

I kept thinking back to even more “failures”. The reason I have this in quotations is because I realized that these failures weren’t really failures; they were life events leading me towards a different path that was more fit for me, my purpose, and who I’m supposed to become. Failures are God’s way of leading you in the right direction. Praise, today is such a good day.






today was a good day. on friday, andrew, an older brothah from another mothah, came back to colorado and took the time to spend half a day with me to just talk about life. it’s so simple, but it honestly made my day to think that someone actually cares enough to go out of their way to have a really boring conversation about…life?

people like andrew remind yourself why you give time and reach out to other people. at the same time, it made me realize that a) there are actually a lot of people around us who are investing in each of us that we take for granted and b) our heavenly father is also reaching out to get to know us better. he’s also right there wanting to listen and hear everything. oh haiiiiii,

Spring 2016 review


Hi friends! I have 8 minutes before I head over to work and I realized that last semester I did not get the chance to write a reflection upon my semester, and trust me guys – last semester a reflection is MUCH needed.

Spring semester was ROUGH. So stressful. At least one to two midterms every week. Being scheduled by the hour. Every MINUTE of sleep mattered because we’d be on 5-6 hours every night. Buuuuut….let me backtrack a little.

Fall semester of college after all the crazy ish happened with my psycho controlling ex – i was not necessarily left in the greatest of conditions. I was not doing awesome in school, I had isolated everyone (aka i was a friendless soul), and i was awkward af. Now while the awkward part has still not really improved, I remember throughout the semester my prayer request would always be the same: God, please help me find a home. Obviously not my home with my parentals, because they are AWESOME, and I couldn’t ask for a better place to grow up and go whenever I feel like a need to be replenished. But, by home, I meant a home in Boulder.

Last semester, God really provided that for me. And it’s insane how quickly God opened doors and literally turned my life around. The first week of school I randomly sat by this girl who I had met my FRESHMAN year of college and some other randos, then being the awkward soul I am, the next day I purposely avoided this girl and her friends and sat alone somewhere else. THEN, for unknown circumstances, the second week of school, we sat next to each other again…and again…and again. Whoever knew that this rando girl would become one of my closest friends months later and we’d literally be spending everyday together?

God did homiez. My friendship with Maddy couldn’t have been timed any better. We had literally every class together, and studying with a friend rather than alone (lol, loser), I did so much better in school. On top of that, I was actually able to enjoy my time with Bridgit (best friend from back home) during her last semester of college (sad face) WITHOUT having some (psychotic) ex obligation in the back of my head, while juggling everything including yoga everyday, working with Globemed, 7am bible study, and other social ish. I’m finally learning how to learn. I’m finally meeting people outside of the group of people i know AND i’m learning how to cook! I FINALLY feel like i’m growing. and it’s awesome.

To sum it up – obviously during the semester you can never really see the pieces coming together. If you think about it like Pokemon GO, you can always see where God’s hiding a Pikachu or where the CP 506 animals are (yes, i’m not that high up) after you’ve caught them. And it’s crazy because it ALL adds up and becomes this beautiful portrait of your life. SO exciting. And it’s not getting any easier (like i will probz die this semester in terms of classes), but I am SO ready, and SO excited.


being the best you can be


hello friends! it’s now summer! and it’s so exciting! why? because you can FINALLY have that harry potter marathon you’ve been dying to have, and you can finally have those late night phone calls with your best friend and not have it haunt you the rest of the day, let alone week.

i think something i’ve realized is that time is limited. i have control over what i’m going to accomplish and how i’m going to spend it, and more than anything i will never be in my twenties again (aka lots of adventure and personal growth – really focusing on becoming the best you can be). that being said, i’ve realized that being the best i can be IS dependent on where i am, what opportunities lie, & who i’m surrounded by.

ex A: i absolutely love going home; my mom is the BEST cook. So obviously, when i go home, i don’t cook because why would i waste GOOD FOOD?  in fact, i didn’t even begin learning how to cook until i started living on my own, and i’m STILL learning. Now that it’s summer and I’m living on my own (+awesome patient roommate), I’ve been able to cook a new meal at least 1-2 times a week, and it’s great! But, I wouldn’t be able to do this in my previous setting.

When I’m living on my own, despite how much I love going home, I realize that I am becoming the best version of myself. and there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, i think it’s a good thing to challenge yourself, take that risk to explore, and realize what nutrients you need to grow. so…i challenge you to do the same. how can you be the best you can be?


good friday


My core group right now is studying the book of John, which is perfect timing with Easter and Good Friday just around the corner. We just finished John 13, where Judas was predicted to betray Jesus. Now if you think about it, it wasn’t just anyone who betray Jesus. Judas was one of the twelve. The disciples were chosen to help spread the Lord’s ministry and essentially taught under God himself. Judas in other words, was a close friend of Jesus. Jesus was betrayed by a good friend of his.

That’s like Don (my sister) betraying me. Or one of my best friends betraying me. To me personally, trust and loyalty are the most important things in a friendship. Being betrayed like that would break down those pillars, I can’t imagine the emotional state I would be in. And Jesus’ relationships are SO much more deeper than my relationships with my closest friends.

We always talk about the physical turmoil that Jesus went through during the crucifixion, but we always forget the emotional damage Jesus went through. Jesus was not only torn apart by this friendship, he was also pushed away from the DEEPEST relationship he had – from his Father. I honestly cannot fathom my mental stability, I would not be okay. And that’s how much God loves us. John 3:16

current state of the union


Current update on my life guys: I am in a “History of Musical Theater” class at 8 am every Monday, Wednesday, Friday that consists of a solid 12 people. (makes sense to use the term “a dozen” here, dozen’t it?) However, my teacher decided to be generous and wanted to let us sleep in next Friday (aka tomorrow) and have an online discussion where you post one question and answer 2 others due Friday at 5 pm in lieu of class. It’s 12 the night before and no one, not a SINGLE person has posted anything. Now as much as I enjoy learning about the historical progression of musicals… i would find it hysterical if no one wrote anything. THE CLOCK IS TICKING FRIENDS. I’LL KEEP YOU UPDATED.

3/23/16 update: some fools wrote posts so yeah… the assignment still happened. sigh.